Let’s Play!

Remember back to when we were kids and it was so easy to play? We could totally get lost in whatever game we were playing. For the most part, we had no clue there was stress around us!

Now that we are adults we still need to play. It actually is healthy for our brain, mind, spirit and body. Yep, there is research on this. Check out “Play” by Stuart Brown, MD.

Play does not necessarily come so easily, though, for us oldies but goodies! Sure there are some whose work is a natural producer of play. This reminds of the auto mechanic we use, Bob Scott from Scottie and Son Auto Body. One day he walked me around his shop describing each part of what he does for people and their vehicles. I looked at him and noticed his face was just beaming! I said to him, “You love this don’t you!” His response was, “I have been doing this for 31 years, and I’m still loving it.”

There is hope for those whose jobs do not bring so much natural play. You see as adults play is actually more a state of mind rather than the actual activity. It’s an emotional state we can be in no matter what we are doing. We can actually put ourselves into a frame of mind where we let ourselves be playful no matter what we are doing.

We can even approach unpleasant tasks with permission to play. For me it is bookkeeping and paperwork. So the day comes when I need to buckle down and do this unsavory task. I have a little chat with myself where I say, “Joy, this is so not fun; however, you can find a way to play. Remember when you used to take a gross pile of mud and turn it into amazing mud pies? You can do that today with this task too!”

Believe it or not my insides start to get on board with this, and I find myself more lighthearted and inspired to do my work.  Doesn’t hurt either that I reward myself with a trip to the coffee shop afterward.  That’s for another blog, though!

My Challenge for you today then is to PLAY! No matter what you are doing today, put yourself into the mindset and emotional experience of play. You will find your day becomes more joyful!

Word of the Year!

Wow!  It’s February already.  To those of us in chilly Minnesota this means that Winter will be winding down soon.  Too more of us February is a stark reminder that those resolutions we made in January have fallen by the wayside.

Want to help your year be a bit more purposeful in a less complicated way?  Pick a theme word for the year!

Take a moment to sink in to what you know this year holds for you. Do you have some big events coming in your business so you need to be productive? Are there some changes coming in your home like a new baby so you need stockpiles of patience? Maybe you are facing health challenges and need perseverance. Some of us have changes looming that are so huge we are in deep need of courage.

Once you have a sense of what this year holds for you pick a theme word like perseverance, or courage or persistence. Make this your word for the year. Think about it during the day, read books about it, journal it out. Let it be the grid you pass decisions through. You will find this practice simple yet useful as it quickly helps you direct your thoughts and activities.

My word for the year is REST. Last year was so busy with work and life challenges that I knew I was desperate for some refueling. With this word as my theme I now find it hovers around me, calling to me when I get too busy or allow pressures of work to overwhelm me. Rest, Joy, Rest.

So find your theme word for the year. Post it several places you will see it during the day. Surround yourself with what it means. Watch as your everyday becomes more purposefully oriented to what this year needs to be for you.

Feel like sharing your word?  Comment back!

Path of Least Resistance

People love to take the path of least resistance. So do bodies of water. My family loves to take canoe camping trips.

Side note: My daughters tell me they love me a thousand times a day on our camping trips. Get your kids into the outdoors!  They come alive.

On these camping trips we travel many rivers. Over the years these rivers rarely change their course. Instead each drop of water follows the others in flowing along the well carved path. And why wouldn’t they. There is no compelling reason for one drop to say to the others, “see ya later. I’m heading up that bank and going west instead…” If it ever did happen, I imagine the other drops saying, “Ah…good luck with that.”

We humans are the same. If there is no compelling reason, we will carry on the same path of life we are on because it is our comfort, our known reality. It’s our well carved path.  We will continue to take this path even if it is harmful for us. Fear of the unknown can be a bigger issue for us than the dysfunction or apathy we are staying comfortable in.

On our canoe camping trips we even fall into this same issue.  We paddle our routes rarely exploring beyond the familiar rivers and lakes we are traveling.  One year, though, we decided to stay put at a campsite for a few days.  On one of those days towards dusk we headed quietly down a side river we rarely traveled looking for wildlife.  We came upon several moose and some very adorable otters who enjoyed playing with us.  What if we had decided to stay on our normal comfortable course?!

A love of wildlife compelled us out of our routine that time.  What might compel you today to step out of one of your paths of least resistance?  Is there a quiet desperation in you regarding an area in your life?  Are you bored?  Are you stalled out?  Are you afraid?

Bodies of water that stop moving become stagnant and stinky.  We do too.  Grab hold of a desire for more life, fresh air, purpose.  Use those concepts to compel you out of one area today where you are coasting the comfortable path of the familiar.

Big or small pick one area today to step out of your comfort zone.  Start planning the steps involved in a project, call that person you have been putting off, clean that bathroom, organize your taxes, register for the class that will put you into a new career path, dust off the resume, take a few pictures, write a few phrases.  Take a moment to pick something and then do it!

I thought of my something.  Better go do it…..

The other side of Fear

Everything you want is on the other side of fear. (“Power of Focus for Women” by Fran Hewitt) Success is when we feel the fear and do what we want anyway.

What do you fear? Rejection, Failure, Being Judged, Humiliation, Abandonment, Success? Start recognizing and naming the fears that stand in your way.

Do you know the common acronym for fear? False Expectations Appearing Real. While what you fear feels real and powerful, chances are it is not really going to happen, and if it does happen, reality is the experience will not destroy you.

So the question is yours to answer. Should this fear get to have the power to keep you from what you want? Or can you allow yourself to feel the fear and push through anyway?

The Holiday Season is in full force.  For many of us this is a time full of holly and jolly!  For more of us this is a time full of grief, loss and regret.  For most this is a time with stress levels topping the charts.  Here are some ideas for getting through the season either by passing on our joy to others or by finding ways to find joy in our pain.

For you who are blessed with the bubbling over of jolly, ponder ways to pass it on through serving at a local non-profit such as a food shelf or soup kitchen.  Or think of those you know who are struggling and drop off a little something (cookies, card, food box) to them.  A simple “I’m thinking of you” goes along way.

For you who are finding yourself overwhelmed with grief, regret, stress:

* How can you honor your loved one you have lost?  1) Light a candle or make a donation in their name.  2) Write up your favorite stories about your loved one and place them in the branches of your Christmas tree or put them in a stocking.  If you don’t have many memories because maybe the one you lost was an infant, then write your favorite stories you would tell them.  3) Set time aside to visit their grave or memorial site.  4) Do an activity that this loved one would have done if they were still here to celebrate this season. Honoring our loved one brings some comfort to our grief.

* How can we work through regrets we have?  1) Make your Amends list (list of who you have wronged). This is a concept from the Recovery programs that is impacting for all.  Tackle one or two items/people on that list.  2) First and foremost in my book is deciding this season to walk in self-forgiveness rather than personal judgment.  This in itself takes much of the negative power away from regret.

*  How can you combat the stress?  1) Take at least 15 minutes each day to sit in a quiet place and rest.  Take deep, slow breaths while making a list of things for which you are thankful.  2) Make a list of all the tasks you have left to do.  Circle the ones that are of utmost importance to you.  Follow through on those and free yourself from having to do the less important tasks.  3) Decide to walk purposefully through the next 2 weeks focusing on what in this season is the most meaningful for you.

Powerful Questions #4

How is the “cathedral” building coming along? Some have noticed that often when we begin to move forward in building our cathedrals we seem to be “tearing down” or stopping different activities, ways of thinking before any official “building” takes place.

This is right on! Before any construction of a home or building or road takes place big machines must come in and tear down old structures, remove trees and then move the dirt and debris out of the way. Spending time in this “clear the ground” process is a sure sign that you are powerfully moving forward in building that rich full cathedral life.

Powerful Question #4: Am I fully engaged in “clearing the ground”?

Bring on the Bulldozers!

 

If you are engaged, do not be alarmed by the mess of debris that might be around you.  Keep moving forward.  Soon you will hear the sound of the bulldozer coming through!  Soon you will see the clear, open “land” for building.

Powerful Question #3

I hope that over the last several weeks you have been increasing your awareness of what you pay attention to day in and day out.  Perhaps you have noticed that consistently your attention is drawn towards worries, hurts, stressors.  Maybe you are finding yourself consciously turning your attention towards those areas that you have said make your life rich and full.  Question #3 can be a powerful tool to help you bring more purpose into where you place your attention.

Question #3: What am I building? (a cathedral or a wall of bricks)

As you pay attention to where you spend your time and thoughts, ask yourself what you are building in that moment: a cathedral or a wall of bricks.  Are you building that cathedral of a rich, full life or are you stacking a wall of bricks with names like anger, resentment, worry, stress?

Sure there are troubles that come to those with a full life; however, their attention is on the building of that life in the midst of those troubles not on the troubles in and of themselves.  Focusing only on the troubles is actually creating a wall that stops you.

So, I ask you again to ponder through your day, “What am I building right now with this activity or thought?  Am I building a cathedral or a wall of bricks?”